If you’re not sure what step to make, give your hunger to God and let him reveal to you and call you out. There’s no point forcing something, but he’ll let you know in his time, or cause a desire and hunger – a holy discontent – to grow within you.

If you have stepped out of the boat, look out for the evidences of his grace and the reminders of his presence; they’ll build encouragement within you and others who you travel with. It’s these moments that will give you a story to tell. After all, following Jesus isn’t safe, but its good.

I love this video; it reminds us of the power of words. It’s one reason I love teaching. I love crafting words, stories, tone and humour to move hearts and minds with the story of Jesus and I’m pretty much obsessed at getting better.

But I heard a great reminder this week that good speeches don’t raise the dead or heal the sick. When the man at Bethesda has been lying begging for 38 years, he couldn’t have been inspired to get up, even if Blair and Obama at their oratorical best had played tag-team on the stage. Only the words of Jesus could transform that man’s life and make him whole. We need preaching that transforms, and that’s the work of God’s spirit. Steve Holmes, Senior Lecturer at St. Andrew’s says this, ‘We don’t implore people to change, we confidently announce the presence of God that makes all things new, and take our part as ministers to bring this truth to pass, to see this new world into being in our service.’

So when you get up to speak, wherever you are, speak with conviction, and know that when our words and God’s spirit work together, miracles occur.

Some of the conference has been excellent – even if there has been a tendency to pack too much in (most of us here are looking more tired than when they came). It has been fun letting the anarchic side of us out and sneakily watching World Cup games on the wi-fi during some of the particularly boring sessions on institutional stuff. The highlight of the conference content has definitely been Steve Holmes‘ sessions on ‘teaching with conviction’. Steve is a senior lecturer in Systematic Theology at St. Andrews University and has made the conference worth the investment of time.

Jay Pathek was the main speaker at the conference, with worship led by Nick Drake. Jay is a young leader from Vineyard, USA, and a humorous and powerful communicator, who was encouraging the 1000 or so leaders gathered to ‘lean’ into the things that God prompts, even if they are considered strange by others.

Jay began by saying that too many church leaders are becoming managers, and asked, ‘what makes a leader NOT worth following?’ His three answers were: leaders who lead with force and power; the ‘super-humble’ leader with an identity crisis; and the Super-hero leader who feels responsible all the time for everything.

Jay then asked ‘what makes a leader worth following?’ I loved his one sentence answer: For a leader to be worth following, they are intentionally out of balance and look insane to nearly everyone.

His premise was basically this: if leaders lean into the things of the Kingdom of God they will be leaning beyond what is ‘normal’ to create a new ‘normal’ for those who follow, who will begin to ‘lean’ into these things as well. Jay said that if a leader looks normal to others, by definition they’re not leading. Jay challenged us to resist bland balance and instead to live with tension, hitting both ends of the tensions as hard as we can.

Jay then ended with a good unpacking of some ‘leans’ that Paul emphasizes in 1 Thessalonians including leaning into the power and presence of God and leaning into perseverance.

What has God asked you to lean into recently? Is it something that – in the words of Jay – might look ‘insane’ to those around you? Have you stepped out in faith and seen him work? Is there something about leaning that is necessary for continued growth and faith?

I got home and spoke to my daughter, about the fact this morning was the last time we’ll be at PBC for a couple of months. She looked bright eyed and excited before saying, ‘Great – we’re never going to church again. Great!’ When we replied, ‘Not quite darling, we’ll be visiting other churches,’ she said with a smile, ‘Great – we’ll go to other churches!’ I think that’s the definition of being easily pleased, and kind of sums up how I’m feeling as I recover from my burnout. If I never went to ‘big’ church again, and instead hung out with a few friends for prayer and the Christian walk, I feel like part of me would be ok with that. But I also know that there is a huge part of me – if it can be renewed and refreshed – that longs to learn a rhythm of living that helps me to be fully alive in the midst of leading a large church with all its potential, joys and sadness that it involves. God knows I need Him to replenish me and help me to recapture that first love for Him, as well as for his Body.

I aim to record lots of my sabbatical journey on here, and I hope you’ll consider staying for the ride. Right, now to finish all my e-mails, tidy the office, write a few letters and close the door…